And this is
This is not a normal website. Nor a very good funnel. All ~4012 lines of code live on the
root domain, which is terrible for search engines. And there are f*ck all CTAs, which is terrible for sales.
Do not copy this approach. It is bad.
But I built it this way for a few reasons. Partly, it’s because marketers have forgotten the reason we exist.
It sounds novel at this point, but:
Marketing.
Should.
Make.
More.
Than.
It.
Costs.
Yet somehow, the only people who seem to make (real) money are large agency owners. Selling founders on their own damn dream, then handing off to an overloaded junior. It's lazy.
So I wanted to create something that took the dream-selling out of the equation. But also I wanted to create something fun and beautiful. So it's inspired by two core themes:
Books (hence this obnoxious foreword), because I owe my success in life to knowledge I could afford when I couldn't afford anything.
And glass, because to me, it represents what good marketing should feel like:
Smooth. Transparent. Something that lets a little light in, and helps the world see you.
For a (slightly) less self-important intro...
Depends on what you need. If you need anything at all.
You know, doing the thing. I'll integrate the tracking, build the landing page, and run the ads.
Teaching the thing. You have capacity, but need direction, tools and tutorials. Costs more at the start, but pays for itself quickly.
Specific problems, specific solutions. Best for lower budgets, or for when you just need a love-tap every now and then.
Because sometimes you need a lot of help.
Sometimes you need a little.
And sometimes you just need a nudge in the right direction.
Because instead of selling you the dream, I show you the necessities.
Because if I can tell you in a fifteen minute call that you'd be wasting your cash? I will.
I get to do work that actually works, and I get to be snarky about the dream-sellers. Win win.
Why is bad marketing so dangerous?
And when you're building a business, entropy is already working against you.
Buuuuut what if you could find a little
order with the flick of a switch?
You need systems that work.
You need to scale sustainably.
And you need clarity, in a world that's financially motivated to keep you confused.
Fair. I smack talk agencies for the pitch.
But someone has to.
And I actually
can.
Zero outreach. Zero sales reps. If you're here, it's probably because someone recommended me. I'm excellent at marketing. But I reaaaallllly suck at sales.
If your name is on the invoice, mine is on the work. No VAs. No juniors. This is me protecting my current clients, by protecting my time.
I don't do 'full service'. I do what I'm good at. Strategy, Systems, Growth. If you need a sweet brand deck, I know a team.
Anyway, the Fourth Thing™ is I have spent or signed off on a lot of money on Ads, SEO, CRO, full funnel rebuilds, or custom tooling.
If I can't see a path to profit for [insert dreams] with [insert channel], I'll say so.
I wasn't lying before. My whole sales pitch is that I suck at sales. I can't push an offer I don't believe in. Even if it's something I could invoice for.
Suuuurely I didn't say synergy?
Who have I become?
But, once again, imaginary antagonist, you raise a fair point.
The reason I don't parade around with platforms and systems in neat little boxes, is because I don't want to sell you on an idea you don't need.
For example, look at the below ads.
Then think about what they have in common.
Answer: They are both (questionable) offers for services that 99% of people don't want
bundled, or at all.
Yet, they are feasibly available, to those who do want them.
The problem isn't the service.
It's the all-in-one offer.
Now, your business is obviously not a patient, nor a car.
But I can almost guarantee it is unique.
The way you scale will be unique too.
And until we've met, I have no idea what that looks like.
The point is:
And I don't want you to:
You need to know what I do, and what I don't.
So below are some levers I pull for growth. I call them...
Paid ads managed properly. We'll test creative like a science lab, not an art gallery. Then we assess them against your actual margins, not platform returns or vanity metrics.
Websites and landing pages designed to sell. Offers that make sense to your customers, and your cashflow. Fast, accessible, and persuasive. Anything less is no longer enough.
We start with math. Margins. Your business will live or die on these. Then: Architecture, automations, attribution, custom tech, or dashboards that show profit.
I don't really call them The Stack.™
It's a bit shit.
And I'm supposed to be good at marketing.
Probably get sued by
Hungry Jacks or something too.
But you get the point.
Business growth is
hell if you're operating in prepackaged silos.
This really is starting to sound like a pitch, isn't it?
Hang on.
I'll do the
whole trust building thing.
Marketing calls it social proof.
Sophie McGrath
Bed Intentions
"Working with Chris has been one of the best decisions we've made as a brand... He brings both expertise and heart, and we couldn't imagine doing this without him."
Mitch & Dexter
Best At Possums
"We are getting an extra 10+ leads on average per week and we’ve only been working together for 2 months. Communication is second to none."
Chris Henry
River
"Working with Chris is a breath of fresh air. It truly feels like a partnership. We challenge each other on thoughts, ideas, and concepts."
Wanda Chin
Extra Shiny
"It’s rare to find someone who is both technically skilled and genuinely collaborative. Chris is both, and more."
Eren Bulus
Prominent Glass
"Thanks to Chris, I’ve now got a website I’m proud of. One that’s already paid for itself. The whole process felt calm, thoughtful, and incredibly effective."
Andy Brownhill
River Realty
"Chris has that rare mix of insight and grounded thinking that makes progress feel easy. Working with him has been a game changer."
Henry
Stick Owner
"he's okay. idk i don't hate him or anything. he's ok. pretty mid at throwing sticks tho."
Chester
Chester
"HE'S THe BEST. I RLLY LIKE HIM GUYys HES SO nICE"
Your Ideas
Your Business
Your Goals
That email address was it.
And you just... scrolled on past.
No clinical forms trying to suss if your revenue is high enough for anyone to bother.
No
"free website audit" designed to nab your domain.
No downloadable "cheat sheet" to swipe
your email.
No part of this is because I don't want to work with you, or because I'm an asshole who's
confusing arrogance with intentionality.
It's because I want the first touchpoint to feel
useful, honest, and worth your attention.
There are a lot of things I could say of the above tactics, but a decent first way to connect is not what comes to mind.
It's because we've let loud replace useful for far too long. I've seen budgets and businesses, some of them run by people I care about, bleed out through clever decks that hide a copy-paste strategy.
If that's what marketing is,
I don't think I'm here for it.
I'm here for math. For actual returns.
For seeing more businesses succeed, and more
complexity in our geopolitically infantile and exposed economy.
So when you hire me, you get me.
No director theatre. No VA hand-off.
I'd probably make more cash if I scaled and outsourced. And I do like cash. But I'm fortunate enough to not want more of it than I need.
I've spent / recommended a few mil on ads, SEO, CRO, web, and tooling. I know what returns, and what wastes.
If I don't think you'll make more than I invoice, I'll say so.
So if you'd like to work together, flick me an email and let's start with a chat.
It can be as short as "Hi, stalked your site. Can we tee up a meeting?", a full rundown on who you are and what you need help with, or you can just send me a string of emojis.
And if you're just having a stalk, feel free to keep scrolling. Otherwise, sing out.
Yes I am still waiting on my Hugo Award, how did you know?
Marketing is arbitrage. You buy attention for $X and sell a product for $Y.
If the gap between those two numbers isn't wide enough, no amount of branding will close it. No rebrand. No manifesto. No "authentic storytelling." The math doesn't care about your mood board.
Fix the offer before you fix the ads. Always.
A B+ landing page shipped today is worth infinitely more than the A+ page you'll ship next month.
Next month doesn't exist yet. Today does. The market doesn't reward the beauty of what you almost launched. It rewards the ugly thing that went live while you were still tweaking the kerning.
Perfection is a holding pattern. Momentum is a runway.
CPMs rise every year. Attention gets more expensive. The auction never sleeps.
The brands that survive are not the ones who shout the loudest. They are the ones who can afford to pay more for a customer — because they keep them longer. Because the lifetime is worth the fight.
LTV is the only metric that matters. Everything else is a vanity scoreboard for people who mistake movement for progress.
Every step you add to a funnel is a tax. Every field you add to a form. Every tool you bolt onto the stack.
Each one feels small. Reasonable. Necessary, even. But they compound like interest on debt you forgot you took out. One day you look up and the whole thing has calcified.
Simplicity scales. Complexity crumbles. The system that wins is the one with the fewest moving parts that still moves.
You have a dashboard. Congratulations. Bright colours. Clean lines. Numbers that update in real time.
But do you have a decision?
Data tells you what happened. Insight tells you what to do next. Most businesses are drowning in the former and starving for the latter. They built the telescope but forgot to look through it.
Not all friction is the enemy.
A qualifying question on a form isn't friction — it's a filter. It saves your sales team from spending forty minutes on a call that was never going anywhere.
A slow-loading page? That is friction. The kind that kills quietly. No error message. No complaint. Just a back button and a customer you'll never know you lost.
Know the difference. One sharpens the funnel. The other closes it.
The systems that got you to $1M will break at $5M. The team that got you to $5M will break at $10M.
Growth is not a line. It is a series of explosions and rebuilds. Each stage demands you kill the thing that got you here, because the thing that got you here is now the thing holding you back.
Anticipate the break. Build for the version of yourself you haven't met yet.
About
Cool. Well, you've probably gathered my name by this point. But, just to be polite, I'm Chris.
I live in Melbourne with my dogs, Henry and Chester, and my partner, Grace.
Chester thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Henry would sell me to satan for more bread. Grace just thinks I should stop feeding them bread.
But to you, I'm just some guy on the internet.
I grew up in the Blue Mountains, left home at 15, and joined the Air Force at 18 because I'd seen The Hurt Locker seven times and wanted to work in bomb disposal.
I did that for the better part of a decade. Saw the middle east and a few other places. Served with some people I still admire to this day, made a handful of mates that are mates for life, and moved across the country too many times.
It taught me how to solve problems under pressure, that there are always other options, and that The Hurt Locker had a lot less paperwork and washing cars and menial rubbish than real life.
But you're not here to read about bomb disposal.
I've spent the last 5 or so years deep in the world of growing businesses.
Paid ads, SEO, CRO, websites, content. You name it.
Anything that makes people tick.
Systems hum.
And
businesses grow.
Okay.
Well, here are some quick thank yous that you certainly don't care about:
To the mentors and open internet that taught me.
To the early clients who trusted me to test, measure, and scale.
To the builders who ship cool things quietly, while everyone else performs.
To the friends and collaborators who sharpened my thinking.
To the tools and teams my business stands on, most of who I'll never know.
And to the patient human at home who keeps me grounded while I build it.
Thank you.
And to you, whether you're a business owner looking for more, someone who just stumbled here, or even a competitor sussing me out:
Keep building.
— Chris
We don't actually sell this.
But you've bought worse, haven't you?
Because marketers love making up words to make things sound more complex than they are.