And this is
Marketing
Works.
Foreword
This is not a normal website. Nor a very good funnel. All ~4012 lines of code live on the root domain, which is terrible for search engines. And there are f*ck all CTAs, which is terrible for sales.
Do not copy this approach. It is bad.
But I built it this way for a few reasons. Partly, it’s because marketers have forgotten the reason we exist.
It sounds novel at this point, but:
Marketing.
Should.
Make.
More.
Than.
It.
Costs.
Yet somehow, the only people who seem to make (real) money are large agency owners. Selling founders on their own damn dream, then handing off to an overloaded junior. It's lazy.
So I wanted to create something that took the dream-selling out of the equation. But also I wanted to create something fun and beautiful. So it's inspired by two core themes:
Books (hence this obnoxious foreword), because I owe my success in life to knowledge I could afford when I couldn't afford anything.
And glass, because to me, it represents what good marketing should feel like:
Smooth. Transparent. Something that lets a little light in, and helps the world see you.
For a (slightly) less self-important intro...
I help businesses grow.
Like, actually grow.
Make-more-money grow.
How?
Depends on what you need. If you need anything at all.
Execution
You know, doing the thing. I'll integrate the tracking, build the landing page, and run the ads.
- Full stack implementation
- Tech setup & tracking
- Retainer or one-off
Guidance
Teaching the thing. You have capacity, but need direction, tools and tutorials. Costs more at the start, but pays for itself quickly.
- Training & SOPs
- Weekly calls
- Retainer or one-off
Consulting
Specific problems, specific solutions. Best for lower budgets, or for when you just need a love-tap every now and then.
- Up-to-date best practice
- Direction you can rely on
- Retainer or one-off
So I generally do more than most.
But also less.
And often, nothing.
Because sometimes you need a lot of help.
Sometimes you need a little.
And sometimes you just need a nudge in the right direction.
To be completely
transparent...
Sometimes this approach makes me less money.
Because instead of selling you the dream, I show you the necessities.
Sometimes it makes me no money. Zero. Zilch.
Because if I can tell you in a fifteen minute call that you'd be wasting your cash? I will.
But so far, it's working out pretty well.
I get to do work that actually works, and I get to be snarky about the dream-sellers. Win win.
Why is bad marketing so dangerous?
...because
entropy
is a thing.
And when you're building a business, entropy is already working against you.
Buuuuut what if you could find a little order with the flick of a switch?
You've got enough on your plate.
You don't need more complexity.
You need systems that work.
You need to scale sustainably.
And you need clarity, in a world that's financially motivated to keep you confused.
"You said you weren't going to sell me shit!"
Fair. I smack talk agencies for the pitch.
But someone has to.
And I actually can.
Firstly, I'm booked out on referrals.
Zero outreach. Zero sales reps. If you're here, it's probably because someone recommended me. I'm excellent at marketing. But I reaaaallllly suck at sales.
Secondly, I have a waitlist for a reason.
If your name is on the invoice, mine is on the work. No VAs. No juniors. This is me protecting my current clients, by protecting my time.
Thirdly, I focus on what works.
I don't do 'full service'. I do what I'm good at. Strategy, Systems, Growth. If you need a sweet brand deck, I know a team.
Fourthly ...fourthly? Why does that not sound like a word?
Anyway, the Fourth Thing™ is I have spent or signed off on a lot of money on Ads, SEO, CRO, full funnel rebuilds, or custom tooling.
And I have made my clients more than they have spent.
If I can't see a path to profit for [insert dreams] with [insert channel], I'll say so.
Lastly, I really do suck at sales.
I wasn't lying before. My whole sales pitch is that I suck at sales. I can't push an offer I don't believe in. Even if it's something I could invoice for.
"Okay, but what the f*ck do you actually do?
All you have said so far are random words like
execution and consulting and synergy."
Suuuurely I didn't say synergy?
Who have I become?
But, once again, imaginary antagonist, you raise a fair point.
The reason I don't parade around with platforms and systems in neat little boxes, is because I don't want to sell you on an idea you don't need.
For example, look at the below ads.
Then think about what they have in common.
Dr. Dave's Mega Bundle
- 🍆 Viagra (12pk)
- 🪩 Dexamphetamine (100tabs)
- 🍾 Med Cert. for the day after Melb Cup
- 🤕 Liver Function Panel
The "yeah nah she'll be right" special
- 🔧 2x spark plugs
- 🔄 wheel rotation bc why not
- 📄 premium paper floor mats (free!)
- 👨🏻🔧 4hrs labour (apprentice only) for a 1hr job
Answer: They are both (questionable) offers for services that 99% of people don't want bundled, or at all.
Yet, they are feasibly available, to those who do want them.
The problem isn't the service.
It's the all-in-one offer.
Now, your business is obviously not a patient, nor a car.
But I can almost guarantee it is unique.
The way you scale will be unique too.
And until we've met, I have no idea what that looks like.
The point is:
I don't like rinse and repeat.
And I don't want you to:
-
Read about CRO or Meta Ads or Automations...
-
...convince yourself you need them.
-
See my waitlist but "need" help ASAP,
-
...then fall into the arms of someone who won't tell you that you're wasting money.
But that's not helpful if you want to work together.
You need to know what I do, and what I don't.
So below are some levers I pull for growth. I call them...
The Stack.™
Acquisition
Paid ads managed properly. We'll test creative like a science lab, not an art gallery. Then we assess them against your actual margins, not platform returns or vanity metrics.
Conversion
Websites and landing pages designed to sell. Offers that make sense to your customers, and your cashflow. Fast, accessible, and persuasive. Anything less is no longer enough.
Intelligence
We start with math. Margins. Your business will live or die on these. Then: Architecture, automations, attribution, custom tech, or dashboards that show profit.
I don't really call them The Stack.™ It's a bit shit.
And I'm supposed to be good at marketing.
Probably get sued by Hungry Jacks or something too.
But you get the point.
Business growth is hell if you're operating in prepackaged silos.
This really is starting to sound like a pitch, isn't it?
Hang on.
I'll do the whole trust building thing.
Marketing calls it social proof.
Sophie McGrath
Bed Intentions
"Working with Chris has been one of the best decisions we've made as a brand... He brings both expertise and heart, and we couldn't imagine doing this without him."
Mitch & Dexter
Best At Possums
"We are getting an extra 10+ leads on average per week and we’ve only been working together for 2 months. Communication is second to none."
Chris Henry
River
"Working with Chris is a breath of fresh air. It truly feels like a partnership. We challenge each other on thoughts, ideas, and concepts."
Wanda Chin
Extra Shiny
"It’s rare to find someone who is both technically skilled and genuinely collaborative. Chris is both, and more."
Eren Bulus
Prominent Glass
"Thanks to Chris, I’ve now got a website I’m proud of. One that’s already paid for itself. The whole process felt calm, thoughtful, and incredibly effective."
Andy Brownhill
River Realty
"Chris has that rare mix of insight and grounded thinking that makes progress feel easy. Working with him has been a game changer."
Henry
Stick Owner
"he's okay. idk i don't hate him or anything. he's ok. pretty mid at throwing sticks tho."
Chester
Chester
"HE'S THe BEST. I RLLY LIKE HIM GUYys HES SO nICE"